Perfectly Flawed in Every Way

Yesterday I was feeling all sorts of in the dumps.  At work I spent just over 4 hours writing a blog post about how hard my life is, how depressed I am.  I wrote about all the ways that I feel defeated and how certain people hurt my feelings.  I went home last night and got into bed and it came to me.  I made it.   I made it through the day.  I am still alive and well.  My kids are in bed, healthy and happy.  My house might looks like a small tornado went through it, but I still made it.

I have three kids, ages 5, 3, and 5 months.  All boys.  They didn't come with instruction manuals so I will never be sure if they work correctly or not.  They are all too young to be big helpers and I spend my day literally doing everything for them. This includes I still have to wipe their asses.    My husband works two jobs and puts in on average 75 hours a week.   I have been working full time for 3 years now.  More time than not, I live life minute by minute cause thinking about the upcoming hour is too much and is too overwhelming.

I had a neighbor unexpectedly come through my house last week to round up her child.  It bothered me.  Not because her child was in my house, that didn't bother me at all.  It didn't bother me she was in my house.  It bothered me that my house was not perfect when she and her son were in there.    I was instantly on the defensive and embarrassed.  I am suppose to make life look easy and perfect right?  How could I let anyone think other wise.
 
Pinterest, facebook, blogs, and media have this huge way of making parenting and running a home look easy.  Somehow I have it stuck in my head that to be a good wife, mom, housekeeper, yard tender, and shop owner, I have to: make fresh organic meals 4 times a day, never buy a single premade home decoration, make sure I'm doing the 20 step cleaning list daily, making my kids their own arts and crafts activities to last them all summer, teach my kids sign language by 6 months old, teach kids to read at 2 yrs old, plan 10 special dates that my husband will never forget, make a family budget where somehow 5 cents turns into a dollar, the list goes on and on.  And some how you still have to all the regular daily things and work 40+ hours a week on top of that.  I am having a hard time keeping the dish washer loaded let alone do all the other nonsense!

There are a lot of things I can't do but there are also a lot of things I can do.  I can make a mean grilled cheese sandwich when its late at night that soothes hungry bellies.  I can put on a band aide that makes even the biggest cuts and scratches magically feel better.  I can teach my boys how to ride bikes and four wheelers at extremely young ages. I can clean a bathroom baseboard so much that the paint falls off. I can fold and put away 2 weeks worth of laundry in 2 hours. I can make it without going grocery shopping for 3 weeks living on food storage.  I can make my husband smile after a long hard day at work.  I can grow food for my family.  At the end of the day I always seem to make it through.

 So what if Dayton isn't sight reading yet! So what if Rhett can't sign that he wants to eat more rice cereal! So what if Jace can't make his bed! So what if my kids eat high fructose corn syrup and Mcdonalds! So what if I don't dress my kids in clothes that I made! So what If I don't get that 20 steps to a perfectly run home done! So what if dishes aren't done, clothes are heaping in the laundry basket and toys cover the floor.  SO WHAT!  Expectations are set so high anymore I don't know if anyone fits the "I'm perfect in every way" bill.

My other peeve lately is: many people lately feel it necessary to share their opinions of how I should be doing things, how I should act, how my kids should act, etc.  Excuse me for saying but I am quite aware of how things are going and I really don't need your comments of criticism.  I also don't need you to brag to me that you life is so great and you are so glad that you don't have to work for a living.  If you knew what it was like living a day in my shoes than maybe you watch you words.

So to the guy at Wendy's who came up to me and said "you kids are outta control.  They make medication, you should look into it", Thank you for that!  It sure did make me feel good.  To you lady at walmart who says " whoa looks like you have your hands full" Thank you for that.  I'm glad you noticed!  To you inconsiderate ass who said to me "You think you would have figured out what made those things by now " (pointing and referring to my children) Thank you sir, I hope you don't stumble on your way out and I hope that God made you sterile.  To my stay at home mom friends who always find it necessary to whine to me that its SO hard being at home your kids all day, and you don't have enough time to watch of your favorite reality shows, no worries my friend.   I am sure there will be a re-run.   Thanks for letting me know!  Yours is a life that is truly blessed. I'm glad you have so much extra time.

It comes down to this.  I have a husband that loves me and works really hard to provide for our family.  My kids are happy and healthy.  They love me.   Just yesterday Jace told me he thought I was a princess and he wanted me to be his girlfriend so he could take me on a date.  My kids are always smiling and excited.  That does NOT mean they are out of control and need to be medicated.  They are just as God intended them to be. I have a beautiful home that gives us shelter. And some times its so full of love it feels like the walls might burst.  I enjoy staying busy with a full time job even though it means I don't get to do all of the things the other stay at home moms do.  I probably wont beable to have a clean house all the time till my kids are moved out, but I can accept that.  And if the everyone else cant accept that, its their problem.  I do not fit the perfect mom mold.  I am rather flawed perfectly.  Perfectly flawed in every way.  I'm making it happen people!  I made it to here, and I will keep on making it happen for the rest of my life.